Wanted

Long have I suspected
someone steals into our room at night,
slips the covers off of E
and then, puts them onto me.
And while she feels
the chilly breath of darkness on her skin,
the sandman comes and sprinkles sleep
across my eyes and brings me pleasant dreams,
while I stay warm and cozy and undisturbed.
And in the morning,
she howls and scowls and grumps and growls
and sourpusses down the hall
about her sleepless night,
while I have on my best,
boyish look of innocence.
This is the same selfish fiend
who takes the cooking chocolate chips
and long after she has gone to bed,
and driven by addiction,
then moves on to gobble candies in a box,
leaving but a few for her
to find when next she craves a piece.
I’ve then gone out
and on the spot replenished all our stocks
to put her in a better mood,
but surprisingly,
it seems to happen yet another time.
How could he know?
I’ve stayed up long and late at night
and drugged by caffeine, sugar, and suspense,
eyes propped wide by toothpicks
tried to catch the rascal in the act.
But alas,
he is a clever soul, more so than me,
having never left a trace or crumb or track to see
and I have always failed in my task.
Only once in all these years
have I ever caught a glimpse,
reflected in the mirrors
as he was passing in the night.
Just a glimpse,
but he seemed a pleasant sort,
generous it would seem,
and astonishingly,
someone just like me.
But if anyone of you
has seen him lurking in the shadows
of your house,
please, please let me know,
there may even be a fair reward.

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